Singapore river...mmmmm

I've taken up Dragon Boat paddling which is on the smelly Singapore River. I love the smell of all things rotting slowly, and that's why I love the Singapore River.

And now a little woof woof knowledge....see Singapore has a fresh water shortage and all the drinking water comes from Malaysia. If Malaysia was to turn off the tap, Singapore would collapse in 48 hours, and that is why the government spends the second highest per capita on military in the world. So we can invade Malaysia if Mr. Razuk forgets to turn on the water after a sumptuous Nasi Lemak long lunch, mmmm, yum, woof! So, the local P.U.B. had a round table meeting at the Killiney Kopitiam, and came up with a cunning idea; Build a "Barrage" at the entrance to Singapore Harbour which only lets water out, which turns the salty harbour into a fresh water harbour. Thus, doubling our fresh water supplies. Now we have 72 hours to invade Malaysia, Cool! Anyway, the salt water fish and animals aren't liking this terribly much. And that's why the Singapore river stinks at the moment...everything is dieing. mmmm, i can hardly wait to go Dragon Boating again, take in a big whiff, then a quick dog paddle before rolling in the muck washed up on the shore....its pure doggy heaven.

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

Tanning maidens and a good wash

When i was a young girl, the boss decided to take me to the fancy part of Sentosa beach. We usually go to 'Tanjong Beach Far End', where the other dogs and nice men in small swimsuits come to play. This time we were outside the Rasa Sentosa hotel, all very posh. In fact they had cordoned off one part of the public beach for Hotel customers only. Well, the boss must not of seen the sign and walked over to that end for a swim with me. Maybe it had something to do with the voluptuous women tanning themselves in their designer leopard print bikinis, who knows?

Anyway, while we were playing, i could feel my tummy rumble and i felt a little queasy...And try as i might when the boss picked me up to rest me on his hip and shoulder, as we do all the time, I let rip the runniest poo I'd ever done. A waterfall of poo cascaded down the bosses stomach, onto his board shorts, down to his knees. The boss froze, standing in front of the tanning ladies with their makeup and lipstick. The boss then smiled, turned his back and dipped us both in the water. A little wash and off we trotted. "Farewell ye poor maidens, enjoy the surf!"

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

Shake and bake

Before the boss got the fancy pancy blue Kangoo van for us to hoon around Singapore in, we used to have to take taxi's everywhere. Most of the time the boss would call the taxi company and have to say "medium size dog on leash" and off we'd go! I'd sit on the bosses lap, nose out the window, saliva splashing against the taxi and back onto the bosses face. He would towel off himself and the taxi upon arrival to my favourite place in Singapore.."Tanjong Beach Far End", A place for dogs and for very toned men in small swimsuits tanning together. We all have such a gay time at Tanjong beach.

When my boss brings one of his lady friends along, we swim right out to the floating buoys, the boss treads water and holds me up over his shoulder, then we swim back into shore. I think he's trying to show off to his lady friend. Next thing, he's rubbing an oil into her skin, how odd? Me, I prefer to come out of the surf, roll around in the sand until I'm covered from head to paw and then jump in between the boss and lady friend.... Shake and Bake!

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

Birthday slops

I'm so excited and i just can't hide it...woof! I was born in Adelaide (Australia) June 1st 2004 so it's my birthday today. The boss made my favourite breakfast this morning... left over spaghetti bolognese in a red wine sauce. mmmm. if only i had a glass of my Grand Ridge Gippsland Gold ale to wash it down with. Hopefully later tonight..

When i was a young pup, the boss let me try my first beer. He served it up in a large bucket, which he said was the best.. and called it "slops". My first Slops was so delicious that i had to have another, and another. The amazing thing about drinking a slops was that the flavour changed each time you drank it. mmmmm. I was enjoying it so much i began to chase my tail and skip around the beer garden in glee. I tried to "hop up" on the bosses lap and missed him completely, ending with my snout half way up one of his lady friends skirt. .. She seemed okay with this and everyone was giggling.

What was in this stuff? Soon after wards, i decided to have a lie down under the picnic tables, and slept most of the night. The boss picked me up and carried me back home over his shoulder. I woke up the next day on my little mattress next to the bosses bed. Just the three of us. I didn't touch another slops for 3 years... but that's another story..

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me.... woof, woof!

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

I love Stimo

I first laid my big doggy brown eyes on "Stimo" in 2004, when he came in to play a solo acoustic gig one lazy Tuesday evening. The audience... boss and me. It was very quiet back then. No one knew we existed. Stimo kept coming back every Tuesday for over a year! And when he wasn't entertaining the small but appreciative audience, the boss got him behind the bar serving beers...and he did it all for free! I love Stimo..

I also get to stay at Stimo's house with his kids and missus when the boss is on a holiday with one of his lady friends.

These days Stimo plays in a duo called "MEGASTIMULATOR" and they get big gigs all around town... of course, Stimo has a day job too... something about digging up liquid black stuff.. the same black stuff you can find washed up on Sentosa beach. I love to play at Sentosa beach and my boss loves washing the black stuff from my fur and paws. We are all soo happy...

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

The rubber quicky

When i was a little girl, before living in the Attic of The Prince of Wales Pub/Hostel, the boss and I lived at 62A Sing Avenue, Farrer Park. About a 20 minute walk from The POW. The boss and I would walk up and back every day, sometimes thrice! He never put a leash on me, which is great because I get to sniff everything! The bushes, trees, lamp posts and especially any passer by who smells a little K9. Once I've had a good whiff, I then bolt to catch up to the boss.

"Get up!" he says, and i trot up ahead. "Waaait" and i slam on the paw brakes. "Stay with me" and i get in real close. And the bosses favourite, "lie down Jess" when he wants to meet a new lady friend.

One day, my boss calls me downstairs and he has this funny looking contraption in his hands. It could make a ringing sound and had two round things with rubber on them. To my shock he then got on top of it. He then turned to me and said, "c'mon, lets go"... Go where? I thought, there's no room for me on that thing. Then it starts moving and i don't know what to do, accept worry that the boss may damage himself. It starts to build up speed and I find myself starting to enjoy it too. Before you know it we are at the pub in half the time and we've never looked back. Boss, me and "the bike".

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

On stage with Mr. Whippy

When i was a young pup, the boss decided we move into the attic of the POW hostel. The boss was doing incredible hours of work, opening the pub at 9am and closing at 12 midnight. 7 days a week. Sometimes he would be so tired that one of his lady friends would help him to bed and stay until the boss was asleep. That was nice, i always thought, though a little noisy at times...

Around the time of our move, I'd just worked out, through lots of "encouragement" from the boss, that it was good to poo on grass, but not so good to poo on footpaths. I was getting the hang of it, and it did come naturally... but one night we had this new band playing loud and the doors were kept shut to keep the noise in. I was looking everywhere for a place to go, but all i could see was shiny concrete floors. And then my eyes spotted the comfort of a carpeted stage. In the middle of their performance i gave the best performance of my life, to an amazed, and stunned crowd. Touche!

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica