TIGER TONY, Woof!

What a fabulous August it was! National Day Parade fireworks, waaahhhh, and Tiger Tony Tan getting the vote for president with his hard line stance of "keeping parliamentary politics out of the presidential election", um, er? Woof, what does that mean anyway? Maybe, "Relak lah! You vote for me, I relak at Istana, say nothing and get $4.2 million ok, ah..." I love Tiger Tony, grrr, woof!

I'm very excited about the return of my comfy couch. Yes, my favourite sleeping spot which sat at the Prince of Wales at 101 Dunlop Street for 6 years is now at its happy new home of 51 Boat Quay. That couch certainly has a lot of ... history, woof! And here are some happy snaps of the couch in action with various beautiful humans.



And now some more snaps of my lovely girl friends being very friendly at the Prince of Wales (not sure if they used the couch or not, but Hey, who cares, woof, woof!) 

I love this place, woohoo! Lots of love and face licks, Jessica xxx Woof!

We are back online 2011

Well, hello all... yes, we have finally stopped twiddling our paws and got this website updated! So now all you need to know about what's on at the POW bar, or how to book into the PoW hostel, is right here and easy to find!

Do check out our gig listings - we have a varied selection of music at the PoW that caters for most tastes! And don't forget to check this news page from time to time for any special events or drinks promotions!

Oh, and if you see me at the bar don't forget I love a good tummy-rub... I'm the short fluffy one on four legs!

With love and licks,
Jessica xxx

The glass washer

I've been hanging out alot at The Prince of Wales lately. The boss has been busy at his favourite pass time, glasswashing. When we first opened The POW almost 6 years ago, the boss had on his business card the esteemed job title of "Glasswasher", some how this was lost in translation when dealing with local contractors, who would scratch their heads when perusing the card. The boss, being the cultural sensitive chap he is, would pass his card with two hands, and accept their business cards with two hands. The boss would always encourage cross cultural exchanges, especially with the girls from Japan, for some reason... anyway, here's a little pic of me in the beer garden, under the stars, next to the pool table. Thank you to Kevin Rosinbum who took the photo while staying at The POW.
Hugs and kisses - Jessica

Thomas and the cheeky trucks

Each night as a little girl, The boss would read me a bed time story. One of my favourites was Thomas The Tank Engine. Inspired by Thomas, I've decided to write my own modern day version, so sit back and enjoy.






"Thomas!" said the Fat Controller, "Today you will pull trucks. A long train is waiting for you"
Thomas had never pulled trucks before and was nervous.

"Come along, come along" Thomas said.
"No, bugger off!", said the cheeky trucks. "We want a real engine, not a wimp like you", but Thomas didn't care and pulled the trucks from the Singapore station.
The trucks kept putting on their brakes and saying, "Give up, give up, you stupid git", but Thomas just kept going, happily whistling away pulling them along his Singapore branch line.

At last they reached Bukit Timah Hill. Thomas pulled hard, then began up the hill. The trucks tried to resist but Thomas puffed & pulled & puffed & pulled and pulled a little again, until he had reached the top of Bukit Timah Hill.

"I've done it, I've done it", Thomas panted. Then Thomas unlinked the trucks, which started to roll back down. "See you in hell", said Thomas, who watched the trucks build up speed and crash into a bridge pillion. The trucks groaned in agony as they exploded into tiny pieces.
Thomas never had any trouble with trucks again.

It's so nice to have a happy ending, don't you think boys & girls? Sweet dreams.
Love Jessica

Thomas and Nakita

Each night as a little girl, The boss would read me a bed time story. One of my favourites was Thomas The Tank Engine. Inspired by Thomas, I've decided to write my own modern day version. Sit back and enjoy my fractured fairy tales written by Jess The Dog.


THOMAS & NAKITA
Thomas had always wondered how far his Singapore branch line would travel, so one day Thomas set off with has coaches, Annie & Clarabel bringing up the rear. "Oh", said Thomas.
He then continued,"I'm sure I can get off this little island!", and after a week of hard puffing, Thomas had not only cleared 'The Causeway', he had reached the Ukraine where he came across Nakita the nuclear power station.

"Hello, I'm Thomas"
"I'm Nakita, now bugger off"
"What's the matter Nakita?", said Thomas.
"My stomach hurts".
Nakita was suffering from a severe case of nuclear meltdown. The overweight Russian scientists rushed around Nakita's poorly built reactors.
"Oh no!" said Nakita, "I'm going to blow".
And explode she did, forming a mushroom cloud. Every living creature within 200 kilometres of Nakita were incinerated.

"Ow, ow, ow" moaned Thomas, who had turned a bright shade of radioactive red.
Six months later Thomas was buried twenty feet underground and covered with concrete where he would remain radioactive for the next 20,000 years.

I do like a happy ending, don't you boys & girls?
THE END.

Lots of love and face licks
JESSICA

Part 1: My little Brown Bear

Today Me & the boss were exchanging money at Lucky Plaza. I was trotting along past a shop window when my puppy dog eyes spotted a very lovely Little Brown Bear. I knew straight away we would become inseparable.

I'm so excited to have my very own Brown Bear to play with. Little Brown Bears are made mostly in Thailand, Indonesia and the Philippines. And many white guys here have one, some even have two or three at the same time! My little Brown bear is different from all the other brown bears. She is at college, part-time, um, er, studying English; Has never asked me for money; and always says "yes" to cuddles anytime I want & never has a headache.

We like going for walks together. Brown bear doesn't say much, but that's why we get on so well. We especially like the park on Sundays. There are so many little brown bears in the park on Sunday.

To Be Continued.....

Big Face licks and lots of Love

Jessica

Part 2: The Busy Brown Bear

Previously on Jess The Dog -The dog has fallen in love with a little brown bear from Thailand/Indonesia/Philippines.

My little brown bear is really busy with college. I know because she has two handphones. One to stay in touch with her study group and the other for friends. Brown bear does not let me read the sms's because its really boring school stuff. The study group all like to meet up and go dancing. Here I am dropping her off at a nice disco.

Brown Bear had to go home three days ago as her cousin is getting married. Today she called to say, that I need to send money as the uncle is not well and may have to go to hospital. "Oh my gosh, that's terrible" and I quickly trotted to the closest Western Union & telexed my entire doggy allowance.

I'm sure everything will be okay and i can hardly wait to walk along Orchard Road with her again.

To Be Continued.....

Big Face licks and lots of Love

Jessica

Finale: Brown bear break-up

Previously on Jess The Dog - 

Brown bear wants money and the dog telexed the entire doggy allowance.

My little brown bear returned from "Thailand/Indonesia/Philippines" and I'm so happy that we went for a walk along Orchard Road.

As we walked past a jewelery shop, Brown Bear said "You like me? I like you. You buy me diamond ring. I be with you long time". My doggy ears flopped down and I promised I would buy the ring when I get my next months doggy allowance.

When we got back home later that day, Brown Bear's phone rang and after much chatter, giggling and a rather sultry phone conversation, I walked over, took the phone & politely said down the line "Who the f#ck is this?". A voice came back in a thick Swiss accent, "Why, I am Brown Bears owner". I dropped the phone & almost dropped my lunch. How could Brown bear have another owner? After all the time & money I spent on her. Little Brown bear just laughed at me, "ha, ha, ha.. you fool, I have many owners even more stupid than you. They give me lots of money".

Well, that didn't go down too well and little brown bear laughed no more.

So boys & girls, do you know what the moral of the story is?

When buying a Little brown bear make sure it is filled with good stuffing.

Big face licks and lots of Love
Jessica

No free porn in Singapore

Hello boys and girls, I'm back! I'm so sorry its taken so long to get back on line and blog away, but the boss had been hogging the computer all day. I've been wanting to tell you about the little adventures I've been up to and now thanks to the MDA, I can!

MDA you ask? The Singapore Media Development Authority. Yippee! Yes, we have a department for everything here, which makes Singapore so exciting. See, we need a department that will "develop the media". I know, all this time people outside of Singapore say things like "the press are gagged", "held to ransom to write what big brother tells them", or "forced to print propaganda to keep the masses in line" , but no, this is not true.. because now we have a "development Board", bewdy!

Personally I find it wonderful to read in the Straits Times about yet another new elevator installed in an HDB estate. I could read this story every day, and on most occasions, I do. Bliss.

And so how did I get back on the computer? ... because The MDA shut down the bosses favourite free porn site! XNXX. He hasn't taken it too well. He seems sort of lost, mumbling, walking in circles and a lot of fidgeting. But Wow! We have now been on more walkies and river runs in a long time.

Thank you MDA! Thank you for shutting down free porn in Singapore. Thank you for developing the press. Singapore is now an even better place for all. And now i can use the computer again. Yippee!

Big face licks and lots of love.

Jessica

NUTS in Singapore

I love driving around Singapore with the boss. I get to sit in the front seat watching the world go by with my head out the window. Ears back, tongue out, dribble all along the van doors...and taking in the fresh air along the tree laden AYE freeway. The boss and i get to chat along the way. Today he was talking about the "No U-Turn Syndrome (NUTS)", which is a term to describe the social behaviour of Singaporeans having a mindset of compliance to higher authorities before proceeding with any action. Phew, what a mouthful! Anyway, in the book Chaotic Thoughts from the Old Millennium, the author uses a comparison of traffic rules in Singapore to those found overseas, to describe the phenomenon : In Singapore, drivers are not allowed to make a U-turn unless a sign specifically allows them to do so, while in some other countries drivers may make U-turns freely so long as the "No U-Turn" sign is not present. This analogy is used to explain the authors 'red tape' he has encountered with hard-nosed bureaucrats, which in turn stifles the very creativity that the Singaporean government has been trying to promote in the recent years.

And in one of those classic photo moments, the boss took this snap shot of me at one of the very signs to tell people what to do. And if you look carefully, you will notice, there are two signs missing; "Hey Uncle, No Jay Walking!" and "Taxi Uncle, don't cut over three lanes with no indicator!"

So remember, when visiting Singapore, if there is a sign, can-lah, If there is NO sign, also can!

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

Dear Mollie

Woof! I have received my first fan mail letter from Miss Mollie Holst, an Australian living in Drammen, Norway! Mollie's great, great, grandmother, Sarah Bandy, in the 1870s, was the proprietor of a pub called the "Prince of Wales Tavern". Mollie asks if The POW could be the original tavern where her granny worked? I did some sniffing around and this is what i came up with. The Prince of Wales Backpackers pub was opened by my boss in 2004. It was previously a medical clinic for foreign workers. Bus loads of workers were zipped through for $20 a pop and had their work permits chopped with a clean bill of health, every time, all the time, amazing! The POW building at 101 Dunlop Street was built in the 1890's. The land around the POW was once a rubber plantation and owned by Colonel Samuel Dunlop. Good Dunlop rubber! The Prince of Wales pub building is the last legacy of the good Colonel, housing his special lady friends. Sometimes late at night, I can hear the girlie giggles of courtesans past.

Hmmm, not much help to you Mollie, but i did some more research and i think i may have a lead... Did you know that Penang was not always called "Penang"? It was known as Prince of Wales Island when first founded by the British, named on 12 August 1786 to commemorate the birthday of Prince George, Prince of Wales, later King George IV. In 1826, Prince of Wales Island, Singapore and Malacca became part of the Straits Settlements governed under the British administration in India. There were many Prince of Wales Taverns in 1870's in old Penang (Pic). Maybe your search should lead you to Penang? Good luck!

If you want to write me a letter, i'd love to hear from you jessthecollie@gmail.com

See you soon for tummy rubs and face licks.

Love Jessica.

Singapore is OK-lah

I'm so happy to live in Singapore where everything is OK! Our H1N1 alert is nicely on yellow and we have all thrown our face masks in the air, while doing a twirl of joy in Raffles Place, ala Mary Tyler Moore style. We are keeping it clean in Singapore, and even the kiddies are chipping in. I love a Happy toilet.

But be aware, we can't rest on our furry backsides. We all know about Mad cow, Bird flu, Swine flu, Monkey pox, and now my boss was telling me that his friend has caught...Yellow fever! He said, all white guys get yellow fever within 3 months of arriving in Singapore. I asked the boss if he'd come down with "The Fever" as well, and he said ..."Yep". The boss is a real talker. Anyway, i thought to myself, "Oh my gosh, that's terrible!" How can i possibly cure the boss from this contagious and long lasting illness? The boss thanked me for the concern and mentioned something about a one way ticket to Norway...? Norway must be even more cleaner than Singapore!.

I decided to do some investigation myself on this "Yellow Fever", and went to Flu Central, The Communicable Disease Centre (CDC). I'd heard all sorts of scary rumours about this CDC; So i went online, and yes, the rumour is that the staff are getting a pay rise soon, that's nice, I thought. Anyway, I slowly went into the CDC and asked the reception about Yellow Fever. They said they had not heard of it, and no cases of this fever had come through the CDC... confused, bewildered, I asked for a face mask and slowly wandered down to The Prince of Wales for a doggy bowl of beer. I love beer breath, mmmm.

Hey, i found these web sites which explain the "fever".. ; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_fetish

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOyRWuklsiQ

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/82614/yellow_fever_dont_let_it_get_you_blue.html?cat=41

See you soon for tummy rubs and face licks.

Love Jessica

President's open house "No Dogs Allowed"

The old Government House (Istana), the official residence of the President of Singapore, is open to the public today! During the Open House, there's going to be a "variety of performances and demonstrations". I'm not sure what the people are going to demonstrate about, but I'm all for "More jobs for gay christian whales!".

No presidents have actually lived there since 1959 And no one seems to know where the president, Mr Nathan, lives these days. Maybe in one of those nice HDB estates in Hougang? Did you know that Singapore has the highest per capita "Home Owners" in the world! A third of our wages goes into a special government fund (CPF), which can be used to buy a HDB apartment. Each floor of the housing estate are divided up by race. For example: Ten apartments on one floor. Six apartments would be allocated to Chinese families, three to Malay, one to Indian/Eurasian, that way everyone is living in harmony and happiness.

And talking of happiness, I'm all excited to cue up and walk the grounds of what has been described as "the finest "country house" east of British India". Maybe even get to see Mr Nathan himself! So today I started to cue to enter the old Government House grounds, when an officer came up to the line and said "No Dogs Allowed", at first i thought he was talking to someone else, then i realised, "Oh my gosh, I'm a dog!"

I thought ALL Presidents liked dogs. That nice man in the big white house likes dogs AND beer. I like beer breath. Anyway, I left the cue and asked the officer why can't i come in? He said it was because there were "Children inside". I looked at him with my big brown sad doggy eyes and sweetly said "you're kidding, right"? but apparently not. So, with my tail between my legs, I walked to The Prince of Wales, had a doggy bowl of beer and dreamt of the nice President in the big white house.

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

Pussy sores

The Boss and I like to go running a lot. And our favourite is to run along the Singapore canal from Robinson Quay up to Queenstown. We must of over done it a bit because my pad on my paw got a little cut. So the boss applies this purple paint called "Gentian Violet". It's amazing stuff!

It quickly heals infected mosquito bites, pussy sores, cuts on paws, and various fungal infections; including something called 'Thrush'? I asked the boss what was thrush, and he said it was a women's thing that could be sorted out with good dose of Natural live yogurt - eating it and/or inserting it? I'm not quite sure what he meant by that...

The good news is that you can buy Gentian Violet off the shelve anywhere in Singapore for S$1.75 a bottle, while in the UK, USA and Australia you have to get a prescription. By the way, what is a 'carcinogenic'? Probably not important. I know i get very car-cenergetic when the boss and i go for a drive to our beer warehouse.

Hmmm, anyway, the cure all purple paint, not so glamorous to be sporting purple, but better than pussy sores. Race out and get a bottle today!

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

National Day Dog

Singapore National Day is coming soon; August 9th, and Singapore turns 46. See Singapore was once part of a united Malaya, but Malaysia kicked out Singapore, and after a little cry, the big boss, Mr.Lee, rolled up his sleeves, waved cheerio to those across the causeway, and got on with creating a happy Singapore..and wow, it really took off! Instead of stuffing money under their beds in Malaysia, Brunei and Indonesia, everyone sent their cash to us to look after.. and Singapore was loved the world over! The Chinese admired our communism and the Americans loved our Capitalism, And... I'm not sure what either of those words mean, but i 'admire and love' Devine Doggy dog food, mmmm.

To celebrate National Day the boss is allowed to hang the Singapore flag two weeks before and two weeks after National Day or he gets into big trouble. So everyone is going to hang out their flag, and its beautiful. A sea of red and white with a little crescent moon and stars. It's romantic! And as part of the celebrations Singaporeans must learn the new National Day Dance, which everyone has to do including the men in the white uniforms. I love to do the Singapore dance. Two steps forward, one step back, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, arm out to the right, pick product off the shelve, into the shopping bag, two steps forward, one step back, shuffle, shuffle...I can hardly wait for this years new dance, woof!

One of my favourite things about the National Day Parade is when all the military is marched past us. It is very exciting, and it looks alot like the parades they have in North Korea, which are always on TV, so they must be good!....But the best is the fireworks, wah, wah, wah...all the pretty lights in the sky. mmmm, I think i will now go to the bosses bedroom and snuggle up on my little mattress and dream of National Day Parade, counting the days.

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

Sheep and rugby

The big Rugby game between Australia - The Wallabies; And New Zealand - The All Blacks, is on the tele this Saturday 3.30pm at The POW, followed by Aussie/Kiwi band "Stingey Lil". I'm confused as to whom to bark for. I'm originally from Adelaide, brought to Singapore by a pet shop trader, who kept me in a 2m by 2m cell for four months until the boss found me. So, i should woof woof for Australia, but i love sheep, as does my Kiwi cousin "The Dog"in the photo; he loves to get very close to the sheep. And what is there not to love about New Zealand sheep?

It reminds me of a story of an Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand. He walks into the small town of Te Awamutu and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his border collie, and figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?"

Local: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right"

Local: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this fella your owner?" (pointing at the local)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. I get to run around the paddock, roll around in anything that's slowly rotting, and feeds me great food"

Local: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Local: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Local: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the local)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. I get to run around the paddock, he brushes me down often and keeps me in the big shed to protect me from the elements."

Local: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Local: "The sheep's a liar"

Go The Wallabies!

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

Singapore Girl

Shopping is a sport in Singapore. There is always a sale, and it's very competitive. Even more competitive than our Chinese Ping Pong team! I sometimes get to go shopping too at the Killiney Road pet shop with the boss. When we go, I get to see all the nicely dressed ladies with shopping bags. The boss told me the way to a Singaporean girls heart is to buy her stuff. I said, "you mean like, give her a bone", but the boss said that comes later.

First you have to take her to dinner a couple of times, call her (not sms), remember the date of her birthday, favourite flower, favourite colour, and then to really top it off, a nice gift. By the way, what is a Prada? Is it a car? hmmm? woof! Then, the bosses new lady friend comes to visit us a real lot...

I like Singapore girls, they are nice to me. The boss cooks up the dinner and does the washing up because Singapore girls don't know how to do that. I like the way they enjoy dinner like me. We chew together with our mouths wide open, smile and sometimes talk, all at the same time! I just want to jump on their lap and lick the food from the corner of their mouths.

After the boss has given her the tour of our house, which takes a couple of hours, he then takes her home to her parents house where she's lived for the entire 32 years of her life. Wow, I wish i could do that, but my mum lives on a sheep station in Adelaide.

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica

Soapland

I love it when the boss takes me for healthy runs along the smelly Singapore river and the Botanical gardens. Did you know that Singapore is the health hub of Asia? It has to be because we have the most "Men's Health centres" per capita in the world! I asked the boss what actually goes on in a "health centre", and he said that he has absolutely no idea, but... a friend of friend told him that is was a very pleasant experience that involves a quick shower, then jump into a cold tub, then into a hot tub, and then into a room where a very nice lady gives you a massage all over. Apparently everyone is very happy at the end. With all these health centres its no wonder that Singaporean men are the healthiest in the world.

After much begging., the boss finally agreed to take me to a "Health Centre"... so, here i am enjoying the cold bath.

Then this nice lady said she was going to give me a "Soapy". A soapy? what was that i thought? I soon found out and wow, it was amazing. I felt so clean from my ears to my paws. Here's another little snap shot of me being soaped up.

I love Singapore... it's so clean and healthy.

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.

Love Jessica